Get the F**k Out of Your Head
This is very much a "let's work together" post because anyone that knows me will know that I suck at getting out of my head.
I have great days that make me forget that bad days exist, which only worsens the blow when I do have those shitty days. I'll have moments of stomach aches and jitters that make me dig through my mind to figure out why, and it pisses me off because I thought I was doing so well. All my learning flies out the window.
"Nothing is either good or bad, but thinking makes it so." - Hamlet, Shakespeare
What I've discovered from being a creative person that it's a blessing and curse. I can create stories from my imagination and writing them down, which is why I'm doing a PhD in creative writing... I can also create nightmares that are so vivid I start to believe I'm psychic. We all have a creative talent but some of us are better at focusing on the present moment than others.
How can we welcome the good imagination and ignore the bad? How can we get out of our heads? I've thought of a few ways...
stop feeling sorry for yourself
I believe that "feeling sorry for one's self" should be left to situations that are out of our control. Most situations are in our control, so if we can help ourselves, we should. The longer we wallow in self-pity, the more time wasted that could be used to fix the problem and move on.
Start a conversation, not a monologue
You might not realize this but if you complain to a loved one about your anxiety, it puts pressure on them. They will think that you are coming to them for help and will feel hopeless if they can't help you. You are the only one who can fix yourself. Instead of pouring your issues out on someone, just have a calm conversation with them. Tell them what you want—might it be just to listen to them and talk out a solution. They can help guide you in the direction that you need to take yourself. Don't get me wrong, a hug is a great gift but it's not a solution. Take the hug, then stand up tall and get to work on yourself.
I don't know if this is a good thing to do but that's exactly what I want to do sometimes.
Whenever I do barbell squats I imagine falling forward with the weight on my back, so then I'm too afraid to squat down far enough which then makes me pissed off because my squats end up piss-poor. I just want to scream at myself like Ricky Gervais screams at Karl Pilkington (2:28-3:03) to stop being afraid and just DO IT.
There are so many books out there about mental health and building self-confidence. Whenever I'm feeling stuck in my head, I pick up The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle and read a few paragraphs. Ryan Holiday's books are also great to read, if you're looking for something new. Even if you just read a paragraph a night like I do (with a highlighter), it will help.
Laugh at yourself
My anxieties are ridiculous. I know that, they know it, your homies know it, errbody fuckin' know. (Couldn't help the Kendrick Lamar reference.)
I tend to announce my fears and roll my eyes when I say it, but I need to learn how to keep it internal. Loved ones cannot understand what you're going through, so why make them fear with you? It becomes repetitive. I'm sick of hearing myself complain about throwing up in public, and so is everyone else.
So laugh. Laugh at how dumb your fears are. Laugh until they go away. Nothing can touch you in the now.
“One day you may catch yourself smiling at the voice in your head, as you would smile at the antics of a child. This means that you no longer take the content of your mind all that seriously, as your sense of self does not depend on it.” - Eckhart Tolle
I've got work to do with myself. It's a challenge that I need to work on daily, and sometimes I suck at it but writing this blog really helps me. I hope it helps you too. Please comment below on ways that you get the fuck out of your head. Xx