Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Solid Olive Green Bikini


Is anyone going to get the reference in my title?


I look at this photo and ask myself, Why the hell did I worry so much about three hours in a bikini?

Yes, it wasn’t ideal to go on vacation at the very end of my bulk, but I wanted to a) enjoy Spanish food and b) bulk for as long as possible before Summer Shredding. Two months before this trip, I still had this worry that I’m going to look fat in this bikini, when the last time I wore it I was lean.

It’s crazy how delusional we can be about ourselves. Or is it that we look in the mirror and scavenge for any ounce of imperfection before taking in the whole picture? At least I do. And luckily, when the day came, I had my friend beside me laughing at me for thinking, for even a second, that I looked bad in the bikini. That’s what friends are for.

As I said, two months prior to the trip I was worried about this upcoming potential afternoon on the sands of Alicante. And I let it go. I just decided “Kelly, you are not going to worry about this anymore” and it actually worked. It worked because I had confidence within myself that I was more than whatever I looked like in this bikini, and that maybe I didn’t look “my best”, but I was on a mission to build muscle (15 pounds in 7 months, might I add!). I also knew that I was capable of getting lean, as I had just done a cut last summer, and I knew I could achieve leanness again.

I watched a video of a woman who was on a mission to lose a lot of weight. She said on camera that she was no longer embarrassed to show her body because she knew it wasn’t permanent and that she was determined to achieve her goals of losing X amount of weight. Whether it took 6 months or 2 years, it was going to happen.

It’s a mindset switch that makes you confident. My dad likes to call it “quiet confidence”. You don’t have to go screaming down the halls how wonderful you believe you are, you just have to believe it and life will get a hell of a lot easier.

So, this day on the beach in my bikini… It was a great day and I gave zero shits about how I looked. The only thing I did give a shit about was how bloody cold the Mediterranean sea was! Yet my friend and I plunged into it anyway.

Here’s a “quiet confidence” challenge for you:

Look in the mirror and tell yourself five things you love about yourself. Internal or external, whatever you’d like. Just make sure you mean it and you believe it.